What do you think is overlooked when it comes to dealing with Grief? » SAMSUNG

2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Mary on March 6, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    It’s important to recognize that everyone’s grieving process is unique. The variables in each person’s life, for example: circumstances of a loved ones death, extent of family /friend relationship to the deceased, position of authority/responsibility regarding dispensation of an estate or funeral arrangements, ability of family members to be supportive and work together cohesively to handle what ocurrs after a death, and preconceived notions of what greif is like, will all come to play in “the process”.

    It is more comforting to have something joyfully recalled about the person who has died and to ask “How can I help?” It is important to listen and observe, and try to anticipate what a person needs, whether it’s a casserole or taking out the trash for them. Or at long distances, a phone call to say, “Im here for you.”

    Sometimes a person has to work, doing whatever is in their daily routine, to give themselves a sense of normalcy and control in their life. It’s the little everyday things that seem to fall apart first, and mean the most when a friend steps in to help out.

    Greif happens over an indeterminate length of time. It doesn’t happen all at once. Try to be understanding and know that it will show itself at the most unexpected times. Listen, observe, and respond from your heart in whatever way is most helpful and reassuring to your friend or family member.


    • Beautifully said! It was about 3 years ago since I lost my mother and yet the other day when I was picking out my daughter’s first corsage for her “Date with Dad” formal event that I fell to pieces in the flower shop. I was alone unfortunately, in the flower shop, weeping as I stood in front of a plaque that spelled out “My Beloved Mother” and it wasn’t so much seeing the plaque naturally; it was the reminder of here I am preparing my 6 year old’s memory making event and I could not share it with my own mother. Grieving is certainly difficult but the missing someone is the longest and most difficult part of coping with a loss especially when you are raising a child that your own parents never had the joy of meeting. Having close friends, a caring husband, an understanding co-worker makes all the difference on those kind of days. Nothing magical needs to be stated by your comforter; you are right, Mary. Listening sympathetically helps those who grieve tremendously!


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